Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

Lord Knows Repubs Aren’t Helping

As the saying goes, Republicans claim government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and go about proving it. That’s the situation in Texas (as I’m sure you’ve heard) where, according to the papers, near everyone lost power, then everything froze, then the power came on, which caused everyone’s pipes to burst—all during a killer pandemic. Now they’re all getting $16,000 electric bills, because the system is working precisely as Republicans built it. So shame on you, AOC and the Green New Deal. Shame!

Needless to say, a lot of Texans are reeling from both the wrath of Ma Nature and the ineptitude of Pa Greedyfingers. So Daily Kos has set up an Act Blue page where you can donate to one or more of seven organizations helping with immediate needs for both people (with a focus on minorities) and pets. Details below the jump…

Continued…

These are the community organizations Daily Kos has chosen to highlight:

Front Steps: shelter services and more.

Feeding Texas:  the largest hunger-relief organization in Texas, with 21 member food banks.

United Way of Greater Houston: It’s the United Way. Everybody knows what that is.

Austin Area Urban League: the historic civil rights organization aiding underserved and underrepresented people in the Austin and central Texas region.

Austin Street Center: the largest low barrier shelter in Dallas that serves men ages 45 and older, and women ages 18 and older.

Austin Pets Alive! and the SPCA of Texas: working to keep animals in shelter warm and hydrated during the cold snap, while helping reunite owners with their pets that may have gotten separated during the mayhem.

If you’re able and so inclined, you can donate equally to all of them, or customize your donation. Click here for the Act Blue link.

And once you’re done, please enjoy this complimentary edition of Cheers and Jeers. I’m told it’s quite popular.

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Note: A quick heads-up that in 50 billion years the universe will explode in a giant fireball that will morph into a massive black hole that eats itself and then lets out a giant cosmic belch. Make sure your smartphone is charged because it’s a moment you won’t want to miss.

By the Numbers:

25 days!!!

Days ’til spring: 25

Number of Capitol Police officers who have been suspended with pay and are under investigation, respectively, for their roles in the Republican party’s Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection: 6 / 29

Percent chance that more Americans have died in the U.S. from Covid-19 complications than died from war wounds on the battlefields of World War I, World War II, and the Vietnam War combined, according to The New York Times: 100%

Amount by which Treasury Secretary and former Fed Chair Janet Yellen believes the $1.9 trillion Covid relief package should be pared back: $0

First-time jobless claims last week, a bit higher than expected: 861,000

Age of Sidney Poitier, the oldest living Best Actor Academy Award winner, as of last Saturday: 94

Year the space Tesla and its driver “Starman” will have their next close encounter with Earth: 2091

Puppy Pic of the Day: Fluffy’s Bodyguard…

CHEERS to finally getting your day under the klieg lights. Five years ago Mitch McConnell cheated him out of a seat on the Supreme Court, but at least Judge Merrick Garland is getting a decent consolation prize: new vanity license plates that say: TOP COP. Yesterday he deftly and directly answered questions in the Judiciary Committee hearing room as he auditioned for Attorney General. And among other things, he aims to root out racism in the criminal justice system:

Testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee at his confirmation hearing, Garland said that the Department of Justice’s mission to uphold the civil and constitutional rights of all Americans, “particularly some of the most vulnerable members of our society … remains urgent.”

Garland: “We do not yet have equal justice. Communities of color and other minorities still face discrimination in housing, in education, in employment and in the criminal justice system. And they bear the brunt of the harm caused by a pandemic, pollution and climate change.” pic.twitter.com/w3bYBDXLRM

— CBS News (@CBSNews) February 22, 2021

If he is confirmed — as seems likely, with Democrats controlling the Senate — Garland would return to the department he left 24 years ago to become a federal appeals judge in Washington. He first came to public attention in 1995: After the bombing of the Oklahoma City federal building, Garland was appointed to oversee the government’s handling of the case.

Garland also vowed to handle the insurrectioneers who tried to steal the election for Trump on January 6th. At least I think that’s what his smile meant as he patted the baseball bat he keeps in a violin case.

CHEERS to the looming taxendectomy. For reasons looking suspiciously political, the conservatives on the Supreme Court stayed suspiciously silent for a suspiciously long time on whether or not New York prosecutors could get their mitts on former social media influencer Donald Trump’s tax returns so a grand jury could determine just how crimey he is real estate-wise. So it was a relief yesterday morning when the decision came down to open the floodgates and—let’s just say it—possibly condemn him to prison for the rest of his life:

The Supreme Court cleared the way for a New York prosecutor to obtain former President Donald Trump’s tax returns, dealing a massive loss to Trump who has fiercely fought to shield his financial papers from prosecutors.

Only the finest cuffs, believe me.

The ruling is a bitter loss for Trump, even if the tax records are shielded from public disclosure, after he consistently argued that the subpoena issued by Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance was overbroad and issued in bad faith.

A massive and bitter loss. When it comes to Republicans, that’s my favorite kind.

CHEERS to memorable moments in shutterbugging.  On February 23, 1945, U.S. Marines on Iwo Jima captured Mount Suribachi, where they attached an American flag to a section of pipe and raised it like a middle finger to the Japanese troops hiding in the caves below them.  The Pulitzer-winning photo taken by Joe Rosenthal actually shows the second flag-raising.  Here’s the first.

This morning C&J raised the stars & stripes in honor of the 76th anniversary of the event.  Tomorrow we’ll go back to flying the universal symbol of distress: an upside down wallet.

BRIEF SANITY BREAK

When you go shopping but you’re too tight to pay for a carrier bag. 📹: Reddit user moskayjoh pic.twitter.com/qrhSUTjjB9

— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) February 15, 2021

END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

CHEERS to seeing red. The Mars Rover Perseverance got a clean bill of diagnostic health after landing on the planet surface last week. Now it’s time to get that buggy busy on behalf of the homeland. Being an American occupier, naturally the first thing on the agenda was to appoint the nearest rock it could find Viceroy in charge of diplomatic relations with the other rocks, and then draw up a no-bid contract with Halliburton. Still too early for a victory parade with the Martian version of sweets and flowers (which would be “rocks & more rocks”), but not too early to put up a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner (probably between two rocks). But before I forget, here’s fresh video from Perseverance released yesterday by NASA, showing its actual landing—this is not a simulation, this is the real thing—at the spot where the flagship store of the new Mars mega-mall will go. Incredible:

On today’s to-do list: firing up the freedom fries launcher and spreading those starchy slivers of Jeffersonian democracy throughout the fruited plain, if by “fruited” you mean covered with rocks. Of course, if any actual life forms show up, Perseverance is prepared. It keeps a Glock in its codpiece.

JEERS to really crappy odds.  On February 23, 1836, three thousand Mexicans attacked 182 Texans at The Alamo. By this account, it was intense:

Brandishing his assault rifle, Six-star General Ronald Reagan and his second-in-command, Colonel Donald Trump, took turns picking off the attackers as Dan Crenshaw and Ted Cruz loaded and fired the two functional cannons.

Only known photo of Reagan saving the Alamo.

After Democrats fled in panic, Louie Gohmert and members of the House Freedom Caucus arrived in the nick of time to save the day.  The surrender ceremony was conducted on a battleship, followed by a ticker tape parade featuring all the tanks and missile launchers in the glorious American freedom arsenal.

That’s why today San Antonio is the capitol of the United States and God hates libturd moonbats.

Um, Texas school board textbook committee?  Once you’ve thawed out and recovered from The Great Republican Clusterfuck of 2021, I think we need to have a little chat.

Ten years ago in C&J: February 23, 2011

CHEERS to simple explanations to stupid hypotheticals.  Sunday on The Chris Matthews Show, the pundit panel’s pulse rates were all a’flippity-floo over the prospect of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie running for president in 2012.  Cynthia Tucker of the Atlanta Journal Constitution made this observation:

“This is not the right time for Chris Christie, because he realizes there is still a ‘crazy tax’ that a Republican nominee has to pay at this point.  You have to cozy up to the birthers.  You have to coddle Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann.  You have to deny human causes of climate change.  And that’s not who Chris Christie is.  At some point in his career, as a prosecutor, he supported gun control.  If he looks out there and the Republican field doesn’t excite people, and he feels that average base voters are ready to accept a guy from the east coast who’s more moderate, he might get in.  But now is not that moment.”

“Crazy tax.”  A catchphrase is born.  [2/23/21 Update: And then Trump came along and hoovered up all the crazy tax money, and here we are. The End. (…of Christie’s presidential prospects.)]

And just one more…

CHEERS to our favorite candy turds.  On this date in 1896, the Tootsie Roll—not quite fudge, not quite chocolate, but as addictive as both—was introduced by Leo Hirshfield.  This would probably be a good time to present the latest data on how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop:

Purdue University licking machine: 364 licks

Purdue University students: 252 licks

University of Michigan human licking machine: 411 licks

Swarthmore Junior High students: 144 licks

Bellarmine University: 175 licks

I still make a point to eat a few Tootsie Rolls every day.  They keep my ulcers plugged.

Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about today?

Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

“I can assure you that with millions of people in Texas still suffering, we’re not spending any time, energy, or breath analyzing Bill in Portland Maine’s Cheers and Jeers—or his squirrel pics.”

Jen Psaki


From Daily Kos at Read More. This article is republished from DailyKos under an open content license. Read the original article at DailyKos.

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