The More You Know…
I’m told this is official:
But what about how vaccines turn us into human magnets? That, my friend…is a public service announcement for another time.
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, July 22, 2021
Note: C&J’s usual NSA snoop, Bart, is at the dentist today. Our fill-in snoop is Heather, who will be scrolling around from time to time to make sure we’re not passing state secrets, like the launch code for nuclear Missile #234-X-Alpha-1, which is “123456789.” Welcome, Heather! —Mgt.
By the Numbers:
Days ’til Gary Gygax Day: 5
Date Canada will allow vaccinated Americans to enter the country: 8/9/21
The last time Gallup’s Negative Experience Index, tracking levels of sadness, anger and worry, was as low as it was in 2020 under Trump: 2006 (Under George W. Bush)
Percent of Americans polled by CBS News who believe the voting process should be easier and harder, respectively (the rest believe it should be kept as is): 38%, 27%
Percent who believe that the changes (i.e. vote by mail) that made voting easier during the pandemic should be made permanent: 59%
Chronological rank of Neptune among planets that were found through mathematical predictions rather than telescopic location: #1
Amount the Norwegian beach handball team was fined at the Euro 2021 tournament for playing in shorts, not bikini bottoms: $1,700
Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
The long-awaited and much-heralded Barack Obama did not disappoint, and when you consider the burden of expectation that had been placed on the poor man, that’s almost miraculous.
I did not think he was as effective a speaker as Mario Cuomo was in 1984, but at least an A-minus.
He uses a wonderful rhetorical device the late senator from Texas, Ralph Yarborough, had down to perfection—topping one applause line with another, then again and again, until the crowd is roaring with approval. A political star is born, always an exciting moment.
—July 2004 from the Democratic Convention in Boston
Puppy Pic of the Day: I think daughter wins this round…
CHEERS to KISSing the country. I’m not worrying my pretty little head about the midterm elections yet. It’s too damn early. But if I were—and I’m not saying I am, but if I were—I’d say President Biden and his all-star team of seasoned strategists are on the right track for getting more Americans to pull the lever for the Americans over the Confederates. Step 1—keep it simple, Stupid:
The White House’s midterm strategy appears simple: enact policies that deliver a tangible benefit to ordinary Americans’ lives, and travel the country to make sure voters know it. But while the president has already secured a $1.9 trillion bill that includes $1,400 payments and cash to raise children, success will ultimately hinge on passage of Biden’s $4 trillion infrastructure and economic plans, which remain in flux on Capitol Hill. […]
Economic recovery…pandemic recovery…cash payments…jobs…child care…health care…honesty…competence. If the midterms are a referendum on the president, I like our chances.
With plans for an active travel schedule to promote policy proposals tailored to the middle-class voters Biden has long considered his base, the administration is laying the groundwork to continue to help vulnerable Democrats make a case for extending one-party control of Washington with the mantra that “good governance equals good policy, and good politics,” as Emmy Ruiz, the White House director of political strategy, put it to NBC News in an interview.
“The last time the Democrats had a good off-year election with a new president was 1934 under Franklin Delano Roosevelt,” said Brad Miller, a former Democratic congressman who represented North Carolina from 2003 to 2013. “And that’s because people looked at the New Deal and said: ‘Yes! This is what we want you to do! Do more of this!’”
In other words, party leaders won’t be playing 11-dimensional chess to chase ballots this time around. Thanks to suppression efforts by Republican state legislatures, that’s now the voters’ job.
JEERS to evildoers who walk among us. From the driver’s seat of his up-armored snow plow, Attorney General Merrick Garland, smashed through a wall of the rumpus room belonging to another corrupt hack glued to the hip of former president Donald J. Trump, making this the seventh traitorous 2016 campaign goon to be rolled up, hosed down, and de-loused by the long arm of the law. Seven counts, including “acting and conspiring to act as agents of the United Arab Emirates…obstruction of justice, and making multiple false statements to federal law enforcement agents.” What a sweetie:
Tom Barrack, who chaired former President Donald Trump’s 2017 inaugural committee, was arrested Tuesday on charges that he unlawfully influenced the foreign policy positions of the campaign and administration to advance the interests of the United Arab Emirates, the Department of Justice said. […]
Merrick Garland’s company car.
Barrack, a longtime Trump friend, used that friendship to get language inserted into the then-candidate’s energy speech in 2016 about the importance of working with “our Gulf allies” at the behest of Emirati officials, the indictment said.
Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy convincing Trump to insert the Arabs’ language into that speech. It totally interrupted the flow of the Obama speech he was plagiarizing.
CHEERS to the man who wanted to be #43, but thankfully wasn’t. World War II veteran, Former play-by-the-rules Senate Majority Leader and 1996 GOP presidential contender (we’ll skip his Viagra stint, if you don’t mind) Bob Dole marks the 59th anniversary of his 39th birthday today. He once said, “If you’re hanging around with nothing to do and the zoo is closed, come over to the Senate. You’ll get the same kind of feeling and you won’t have to pay.” But he topped that half a dozen years back with a bit of candor that wasn’t exactly appreciated within his team’s ranks:
“Could people like Bob Dole, even Ronald Reagan—could you make it in today’s Republican Party?” host Chris Wallace asked Dole.
“I doubt it,” Dole said. “Reagan wouldn’t have made it. Certainly, Nixon couldn’t have made it, because he had ideas and…we might have made it, but I doubt it.”
With SNL doppelganger Norm MacDonald.
The 1996 presidential nominee [said] his party should close up shop until it’s figured things out.
“I think they ought to put a sign on the national committee doors that says ‘closed for repairs’ until New Year’s Day next year and spend that time going over ideas and positive agendas.”
We hope he enjoys his 98 percent discount at Denny’s. Because if he was expecting sanity from his party as his gift instead, ain’t gonna happen.
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
JEERS to previews of coming icky attractions. Ahhh, the Olympics. Always a good time. Beijing and Athens were choking in smog. Sochi was choking with homophobia. Rio was choking with raw sewage. And now Tokyo, where this official sums up the mood for pretty much all of us:
A Japanese official choked up with tears on Friday as he apologised for the cancellation of Olympic tickets, a moment that crystallised the country’s pain at seeing the Tokyo 2020 Games overshadowed by a worsening COVID-19 pandemic.
I hope the greased-up flag bearer from Tonga makes an appearance. He has such a lovely mind.
The display of emotion from Hidenori Suzuki, the official in charge of ticket sales for Tokyo 2020, came a day after organisers bowed to political pressure and rising infections in the capital, barring almost all fans from the Games just two weeks before they are due to start. …
“We’ve done all we could to meet the expectations of those who had bought the tickets and I feel a deep sense of pain,” Suzuki told a briefing on the ticket cancellation procedures.
The opening ceremonies start tomorrow morning around 7am ET. Meanwhile, yesterday it was announced that Brisbane, Australia will be the host for the 2032 games, meaning we’ll be choking on vegemite. One way or another, the Olympic committee is hellbent on killing us all.
JEERS to Lindsey the Lackey. Oh, the memories of the 2016 Republican campaign, when candidate Lindsey Graham was saying things in public like “Donald Trump is a kook” and “The way to make America great is to tell Donald Trump to go to hell.” But in private, it was a different and more pathetic story. Six years ago this week, Lindsey the angry man-child’s private plea was publicly mocked and doxxed by—surprise—his future who’s-yer-daddy:
“So, Lindsey Graham says to me, ‘Please, please, whatever you can do.’ You know, I’m saying to myself, what’s this guy, a beggar? He’s like begging me to help him with Fox and Friends.
So I say, okay, and I’ll mention your name. He said, ‘Could you mention my name?’ I said, yes, I’ll mention…and he gave me his number, and I found the card. I wrote the number down. I don’t know if it’s the right number. Let’s try it.” Trump then read Graham’s number to the crowd of just under 1,000. When CBS News dialed it, the number led to an automated voicemail greeting with Graham’s name.
Today Lindsey is still Trump’s #1 psychophant and ball washer. Not necessarily in that order.
Ten years ago in C&J: July 22, 2011
JEERS to the continuing distraction from job creation. It’s Day 3 of our daily updates on the debt crisis, and here’s the latest. Things have totally changed since yesterday. Yesterday was Wednesday, today is Thursday. Totally different! Other than that, the debt crisis—which need not be a crisis at all—will continue until 11:59 pm on August 1, 2011, when the debt ceiling is raised and Republicans totally forget about it and move on to the next ginned-up fake crisis. Meanwhile, as we wait for the inevitable resolution, here’s something fun you can do to pass the time: take a piece of paper, draw 100 random dots on it, number the dots, and then connect them. Good for you, li’l nipper! You made a picture! Now bolt it to the fridge and help yourself to a juice box, champ.
And just one more…
CHEERS to coming in like a lion. Woo hoo! My zodiac sign—Leo—comes roaring in at midnight tonight. You know who’s a Leo? President Obama. Neil Armstrong and 35 other astronauts. Robert Redford. Madonna. The Far Side creator Gary Larson. Loni Anderson. Steve Martin. Stanley Kubrick. Andy Warhol. And what do we all have in common? Oh we hate to brag…
The Leo Woman is glamorous and regal. She isn’t complicated—in fact she’s more up-front and honest. She revels in the spotlight and often finds herself the center of attention. No matter how happy she is in her personal life, a Leo woman needs more. That usually means a career or, in some cases, an involvement in social or community affairs that showcase her creative interests and organizational skills.
“Blah blah blah blah…”
“Oh, shut up, Frank.”
The Leo Man [is] good-looking and personable and possess a swaggering grace that makes [him] attractive to women. They are friendly and good-natured, although they have a tendency to sulk. They have a strong ego and can seem preoccupied with their own concerns at times. Image is important to these men, and they take great care in cultivating just the right one for themselves.
…but brag we shall. Meow.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial
“Bill in Portland Maine is a very dumb man. He could not have written this Cheers and Jeers on his own.”
From Daily Kos at Read More. This article is republished from DailyKos under an open content license. Read the original article at DailyKos.